Time went on, my due date came and went, my baby engaged and then ‘disengaged’ again and the 3rd June was fast approaching – I began to lose faith and became pretty dispirited. At about 5.50am on the 3rd June I was woken by a contraction. I wasn’t sure if it was just a strong Braxton-Hicks but something told me this was it. About ten minutes later I had another and about another ten minutes on another. I tried not to get excited and decided to get up and have a shower and get ready for hospital as I couldn’t believe I was really in labour and was still trying to psych myself up for a section. As soon as I got out of bed the contractions started coming thick and fast and I found myself instinctively having to ‘breathe through them’ - I set the stopwatch on my phone to see what kind of time they were lasting for and how far apart they were – about 90 seconds and two minutes, respectively. I had my shower and told my partner that I thought I was in labour. Then I rang the hospital – they said to come straight in. By the time we got there I had no doubt that it was really happening – I gave permission to have an examination which confirmed that I’d already started active labour. I was delighted! They asked me whether I wanted to go for a VBAC or have the section as planned – having gone into labour naturally I was pretty convinced that I’d now have a real chance of having a natural birth so told them that I was going for the VBAC!
My partner ‘named’ areas of the room and between contractions I would walk between the areas and when a contraction came, I would do ‘moving squats’ whilst my partner did sacral massage and whilst I imagined myself at the place he’d named it – so I continually walked between the window, the bed, a table and a baby bath unit, imagining myself in places such as Tehidy woods and, I think (though my memory is slightly fuzzy from here on in!), the garden at my childhood home and a beach…. At the start of some contractions I could feel myself tensing up in anticipation of pain but at these moments I remembered what Alice had said about the fear of the pain making it more painful and would make a conscious effort to relax into a contraction – easier said than done when it hurts but I found that it really did make a whole world of difference when I could relax, the pain really did decrease.
I was moved to a room where I could have continuous monitoring and fetal monitoring was set up in a way that enabled me to continue with an active birth. It was not long before I found that I could no longer move around and I found myself a comfortable, upright position – kneeling on the floor, leaning over the bed. I was now totally immersed in the labour and had mentally shut myself off from most things around me. I started using gas and air and, although I could still feel the pain, the gas and air helped me to maintain a pretty relaxed state!! (A couple of times the midwife tried to get me to stop breathing it between the contractions but I found I was quite enjoying the ‘little highs’ in between the pain and it made relaxing into the contractions a whole lot easier if I went into a contraction already a bit spaced!!) My partner started vaporising some essential oils (I think rose and frankincense) and I became aware of the delicious aroma and the air seeming to comfort me, which all helped to relax me.
After what must have been an hour or two, I told my partner that I couldn’t take any more, I wanted an epidural. He told the midwife who asked me if that was what I wanted. I told her yes as I went into another contraction – at which point she asked me if I was pushing. I said that I wasn’t sure but with the next contraction I realised that I was. She asked if she could examine me. I agreed and, to my amazement, she found that I was already fully dilated! I was, again, delighted – the end was in sight! I was now properly pushing at each contraction and soon found that, rather than having needed an epidural as I’d thought I did, I didn’t even need gas and air any more – I suddenly realised that I’d stopped using it and had become a lot more engaged with my midwife and with my partner again. I now realise, as the midwife must have done, that my request for the epidural and feelings that I couldn’t take any more were probably when I was in the transition phase of the labour.
About an hour later the midwife’s shift ended and a new midwife came in. However, they both stayed as my first midwife said that she knew I was close and wanted to see me deliver! This was exactly what I needed to hear and gave me some much needed encouragement!
About an hour and a half later and after about two and a half hours of pushing, the head was finally out – but the baby’s shoulders got stuck. I was on my back on the bed with my legs pushed back over my head (the “McRoberts’ manoeuvre” is not hugely dignified – what part of childbirth is?!!) and instantly my baby pretty much flew out with the next big push! She was checked over and was absolutely fine – she had good apgar scores and was soon letting the world know that she had arrived!
I was full of relief (physically and mentally!) and gratitude – the midwives had been great and had been very respectful of my wishes and my desire for them to work with a ‘hands poised’ approach. I had felt fully supported whilst being pretty much left to work with my natural instincts. I couldn’t believe that I had done it – I had successfully birthed my 9lb 11oz baby girl naturally, with minimal intervention (only two examinations, the breaking of my membranes when the baby’s head was crowning and, at the last minute, the McRoberts’ manoeuvre). She was here, safe and sound; she had arrived in her own time at her own pace, just as I had hoped she would.
I don’t think that I’d have had the confidence to even try for a VBAC, let alone the labour and birth I’d hoped for if I hadn’t attended the course with Alice. In addition to achieving it this time, I not only now see my first labour and birth as a positive experience but the confidence I gained in my body through our time with Alice and by achieving a VBAC has helped me to overcome fears of a recurrence of mastitis and to try again – and this time succeed – at breastfeeding. So thank-you Alice, your support, advice and wonderful hypnotherapy sessions made a huge difference to me, to us and I will forever be grateful." Charlotte
